Trainer Question, August 10-September 10, 2008
Posted on Friday, September 19 @ 09:56:01 CDT
Topic: Questions and Answers
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Trainer:
Design a training exercise to teach students about being authentic in
their interpersonal relationships. An answer is suggested by Ann
E. Hale, M.A.,TEP with references to Dorothy Satten, PhD, LMFT, TEP and
Leif Dag Blomqvist, TEP.
Introduction:
Being authentic asks a person to be truthful, both in terms of content
and process. For example, a content response may be , “Yes, I do
want to be liked and I do like to be helpful to other people.” A
process response may be, “Yes, I realize that you want an answer to
your question and I will give you one as soon as I have thought about
it a bit. It is complicated for me. I don’t want to say until I
am more certain of my answer.” The power of authentic
communication is both parties are able to rely on the truth
emerging, reducing the risk that comes when there are surprises, such
as the emergence of a long-kept secret falsehood. When you are
able to rely on a person, you are more able to freely ask and wait for
an answer rather than to second-guess or “get in a twist” of worry or a
series of manipulations. Honesty does have the risk of painful
disclosure from time to time, both received, and given; however, the
reality is here and now and survivable. Living with a series of
lies, is fraught with uncertainty and the reality that the relationship
is not able to function in the “real world”.
An exercise:(1)
Position in the workspace four chairs, two chairs facing two
chairs. The chairs are for a person who has a statement to make
to another person. Each person has an additional chair, for the inner
double, who speaks from a “heart of hearts” position.
(1) To begin, the protagonist makes a statement of something they
have never said to a significant other, played by an auxiliary ego who
sits facing him or her. (2) Next there is a role reversal, and
the auxiliary who is now in the protagonist’s chair, repeats the
statements. The protagonist, in the role of the significant other,
answers as accurately as possible. (3) Both reverse back into
their original roles, and the auxiliary ego repeats the response,
followed by any additional role reversals needed for clarification.
(4) Next, the director asks the protagonist to be their own double, and
to speak
from his/her heart of hearts, being wholly authentic, offering feelings
and truth to the person to whom they have chosen to speak. (5)
There is another role reversal, this time with the auxiliary ego
staying in place, and the protagonist taking the position of the other
person’s double. This time, the protagonist in the role reversed
position, responds using their perception of what
the person would say if they were speaking from their most authentic
and deep feeling place. The auxiliary can assist however the major
focus is on the protagonist finding the voice of the other person's
innermost feelings and beliefs. (6) When they reverse back into their
original
position, the auxiliary ego takes the double position and speaks to the
protagonist from the innermost self of the person they are
playing. (7) The director concludes the exercise by asking
the protagonist to make a final statement. (8) Sharing is offered.
Discussion
Persons practicing surrealistic psychodrama (2) might create an
exercise asking two people to engage for five minutes getting to know
one another through a process of lying every chance they get. The
screen of lies, the opposite of authenticity, provides an electric
current to the exchange. This is followed by an exchange of
truths. The partners begin to speak
about ways their lies reveal something about themselves they may have
hidden, such as a secret wish to be different, or to have something
they do not in fact have. Efforts are made to have this follow-up
be as truthful as possible.
For additional exercises you may wish to explore the field of values clarification as
well as the National Coalition for Dialogue and Deliberation. (3)
________________________
(1) Dorothy Satten, Phd., LMFT, TEP offered
this exercise during a Moreno Seminar at Hudson Valley
Psychodrama Institute, November, 2006. I have adapted it to focus on
authentic relating.
(2)Leif Dag Blomqvist, Swedish Trainer from 1975-2008, created the
field of surrealistic psychodrama and presented on this topic at
conferences in the US and Europe. He facilitated a series of yearly
seminars to develop the approach. For a reference, see (1)
Blomquist, Leif Dag and Thomas Rutzel (1994) “ Surplus Reality and
Beyond” in Psychodrama Since Moreno: Innovations in Theory and
Practice,, Edited by in Holmes, Paul, Marcia Karp and Michael Watson
London: Routledge, pgs 235 -257. And (2) Sader, Manfred.
(1991). Realität, Semi-Realität und Surrealitaet im Psychodrama.
(Reality, semi-reality and surrealism in psychodrama). In: M. Vorwerg
& T. Alberg, (Eds). Psychodrama. Leipzig: Barth. ( in German).
(3) National Coalition for Dialog and Deliberation. www.thataway.org
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